New Years Resolutions

Every year, the inevitable New Years resolution spew forth. "I vow to..." "This year, I am going to..." and the papers and articles mock us for our inability to stay resolute. Some argue that there is no point to forging a mere hope that you will just feel guilty over in a few weeks. I disagree. Life is full of motivational moments and seasons of falling off the band wagon. I, for one, intend to grasp ahold of anything that kicks me in the butt, short lasted or not. So it is, that I find myself thinking of what goals and aspirations I have for myself and my family for 2011.

1. I will try to get up earlier than my children each morning, go for a walk, have a coffee, do my devotions, and be alert and ready for the most important job I will ever have. I promise to try doing this whether I feel like it or not, whether I am exhausted or not, whether I am cheerful or not. I promise to no longer turn off my alarm, but rather get up despite my brains adamant refusal.

2. Consequently, I also will try to go to bed at a more decent time to facilitate the near impossible task of getting up early.

3. I will hop back on the bandwagon of ROUTINE with my children. Doing school and learning time with them each day, spending one on one time with them each day, having a regular bedtime routine, etc.

4. I will organize myself in order to continue on with piano lessons while ensuring that my kids do not suffer in the process. If this is unable to happen, I will cut some of my students in order to fulfill my duty and desire to put my kids first.

5. I will prioritize and schedule my daily life so that I am not wasting time on the computer or being lazy, but being a good steward of the short time I have with my children. (and increasingly short days with teaching piano)

6. We (I make this resolution on both Jonathan and my behalf) will pay off a good portion of debt this year, and be diligent and wise with our money. STICK TO THE BUDGET! :)

Alas, who knows how long these will last, I know myself and I know that time and time again I will be back in this place, on the ground watching the wagon go on without me. But I will not give up, time is so short, every day my kids grow and change and I refuse to miss out simply because I am not being wise with my time. I may not be able to do this on my own strength, but I pray that God will enable me to follow these goals, not just of my own making, but goals of His heart as well. Happy New Year everyone!

My Christmas Poem

 Christmas is upon us, I don't know what to say

My kids are sick, my dog does lick, my days just waste away

"So much to do, so little time", the phrase that haunts my sleep

The coffee drips, the coke I sip, my sanity to keep

Lights are up on every house, that is except for mine

My list is long, "someday" my song, "next year will be just fine"

Next year I'll start traditions, I'll try to keep up pace

'Better organization', I think, 'will help me to save face'

But alas each year comes and goes, my best laid plans awry

I grab my seat and buckle in, and struggle not to cry

And so it is, the day has come, I'm at a loss of words

To continue on in chaos or break off from the Christmas herd?

I pull the chord, I stop the train, I grab my kids and leave

I refuse to keep this crazy pace and forget what I believe

Santa's sleigh, little green elfs, and rudolph's big red nose

These are just a passing story, one that comes and goes

And so it is I leave the list, I sit down to enjoy

The wonders of the season, each little girl and boy

My kids' awe at each big flake that falls down from the sky

The sparkle in their eyes as they beg for Apple pie

The smell of pine and cinnamon, the sound of Christmas cheer

And the story of the one who came to spread hope far and near

Merry Christmas everyone! Oh, and Jonathan does actually have lights up, it is a metaphor for all the other things that are NOT done this year ;)

Vacation Survival Guide

After recently embarking on our first family vacation, I think I have come back a wiser woman. Traveling with children is never easy, but traveling with three children under 3 was definitely.... memorable :) Needless to say, from long car trips, to fast-food, to ferry rides, to hotels, here are a few of the things I learned along the way.

Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Domestic Disasters

After driving all afternoon, we finally arrived at our first stop. And it begins... unload kids, unload playpens, unload suitcases, bring in the diaper bag, bring in blankets and other items of attachment. Go in, get kids in their pajama's, feed them snacks, put them to bed. Run back to the car for all the things we have forgotten along the way. An hour later, the kids finally finally fell asleep and we crawled into bed, exhausted and preparing for the wake-up call at 4:30am.
12:00am... Malakai wakes up for a bottle. By the time I get it ready and come back to him he is asleep. Run back up and put the bottle in the fridge.
1:00am... Selah throws up. Over everything! Look for a washing machine, unsuccessful, hope you can get it washed in time for tomorrow.
2:00am-Caleb wakes up crying. Run upstairs looking for throw-up containers... just in case. He is fine. Go back to sleep.

4:30am-Time to get up and go! I get ready, wake up the kids (Selah throws up again), and we rush to the ferry.
Can you say gong show?!?!?!?! Needless to say, we did it. We got there. Selah was exhausted, sick, and basically a walking meltdown. I have never dealt with my kids in such extreme circumstances. So many things to remember, danger lurks in every corner. They wander off, trying to keep our eyes on them at all times. Now that I look back I really don't know how I did it, somehow you just do it. You just get by. You still find joy in the circumstances, despite the screaming child in your arms. You are tired, you are annoyed, but you are excited and in awe of all the new things. Watching Caleb run around on the boat, watching their eyes light up as they looked out at the water. Through pouring rain, we persevered. And it was one of the best experiences of my life!

So, vacation survival tip number 1: Don't let your child hold you back. They might be screaming, fighting, kicking. They might be exhausted and hungry and grumpy, but often if you just stick it out, drag them to the beach despite the circumstances, most likely you will be glad you did. You get to experience something new, they often snap out of it, if only for a short while, and together you get to explore and experience something incredible together.

Practical tips:

1. If you are in the car for a long time, pack each child a separate car bag. Fill it with little toys such as cars, action figurines, mini animals, water, blankies, etc. This was my SAVIOUR! The kids played with those little things all the way there and if ever you are at someone's house who has no toys, you can bring it in and your kids are entertained. LIFE SAVER!

2. Bring movies and a DVD player, the investment is WELL worth it!

3. Be prepared for the worst, pack advil for you, gravol and children's tylenol, etc. And don't forget a puke bucket! Might save you a boatload of grief.

4. Food, food, and more food. When you kids are melting down, food is the way to their hearts! Have snacks, granola bars, juice, cookies, etc. ready at a moments notice. Now that I have done this, I would ditch the diaper bag and food bag and just pack a medium duffel bag with tons of diapers, medicine, snacks, etc. Then when you are going somewhere, you can just throw a diaper in your purse and you have everything together.

5. HAND SANITIZER!

6. Don't worry about their schedules. My kids need their sleep, they were up until all hours of the night, every night. They missed naps, I thought they would be disasters. No doubt about it, they had their moments. But then they would snap out of it when they saw the crashing waves, or the aquarium, or touched a starfish for the first time, or heard the ferry horn blasting... I have never been so amazed at their resilience or so proud of their ability to take each moment.

7. Go with someone else. Yes, sometimes it is annoying when you want to do something, or they want to do something, but you can always split up. In the long run, you have two extra adults, extra eyes and hands, someone to laugh with when you feel like crying as your kids throw themselves on the floor screaming.... again. Someone to foot the bill of food and accommodations. Someone for the kids to play with.

8. Either bring a little potty so your kids can pee on the side of the road or (if you have boys) a water bottle that they can pee in (works great!).

9. COFFEE!

10. If you are staying in a cabin as opposed to a hotel, find out about laundry. You can pack less clothes and just wash everything every night.

Overall, the episodes of craziness were worse than anything I have experienced. But the location, the new sights, the excitement, the sense of family and closeness as we explored and learned together, made it all worth it. We plan on going back again next year, and this time, hopefully, I will be more prepared :)

Bittersweet Baby

I recently was able to be at the hospital and see my brand new little niece just minutes after she was born. As I held this adorable little bundle in my arms and saw her look up at me in wonder and seemingly deep thought, I began to contemplate the many emotions, feelings, and thoughts running through my head. Undoubtedly I felt a pang of wanting another one. Who wouldn't? But the most prominent emotion I felt? I wanted to come home and hold Malakai. In my head, he is still my little baby. I literally hardly stayed at the hospital. I sped all the way home and cuddled all my babies in my arms.

I will be very clear: we want more kids. I want more kids. I have always wanted a large family, and having children has only strengthened this desire in me. Being a mother is everything I thought it would be and more! Of course it isn't all peaches and cream all the time, but my children are my world. When a brand new little baby, who looks like Jonathan and I is placed in my arms. When those little babies cuddle with you and look up into your eyes and coo and smile, who wouldn't fall in love?

Needless to say, although we want more I am so content with my little family right now. I have one in the preschool stage, one in the toddler (heaven help me) and one still in baby stage. I am busy, I am happy, and I am wanting for nothing. When we do get pregnant again I will be thrilled, but for now I am content to cuddle with Malakai. In fact, I almost don't want it to change for a bit :) Bet you never thought you'd hear those words from me eh?

Homeschooling: Week One

Well, we are officially about a week in to homeschooling, I started with the kids on saturday (they don't know that is a weekend) as soon as I got my books in. Most of the books are too advanced for Selah, all she wants to do is color, put the lids on and off of the felts, and play with her new pencil case :) But Caleb is getting into it. He is learning his alphabet, his numbers, we are working on signs, he is coloring and reinforcing his colors and we do bible every day. Here is my school schedule, a look at what actually happens:

7:00am-wake the kids, eat breakfast, get them dressed and ready
7:30am-chore time (this has not been going over as well as I thought, it could be renamed as "whining hour" as that is all they do, but I am trying to get them to help out with a cheerful attitude)
8:00am-bible time (here we do a bible story, pray, I play the piano and we sing little songs, they dance to music and then we sometimes do some art (basically color))
8:30am-school time. What I thought would take me an hour, takes me about half that time, but we just color, I turn on some music and they bounce away. We talk about our colors, caleb and I work through the alphabet, etc.
9:00am-here we watch signing time together and I make them sign each word
9:30-we get ready for activity time from 10-12 (sometimes this is the library, or playgroup, or bible study, etc.)
12:00-lunch and naps


It isn't totally smoothed out. I have discovered that the teaching aspect is pretty relaxed. Especially with Selah. However, Caleb is learning. He has not known his ABC's other than the tune of the song he would fumble along to. Now he can point out nearly all the letters of the alphabet. He is learning his numbers, he knows his colors, and he is genuinely absorbing the bible stories each day. You can't really homeschool a 2 and 3 year old, more than anything my "homeschooling" is just doing learning activities with them and spending more one on one time. The schedule is more for me than them. They watch way less TV, I am a scheduled person and enjoy the structure, and so do they. They are learning to help out around the house and learning about God. Because of that, it is worth it. Even if I feel like it is going in one ear and out the other. The other day at the store, Caleb was looking at the flowers "mom, God made the flowers!" What a gift to know that he is storing these little "lessons" in his heart. My kids are happier, they are (hopefully) getting on a schedule, they are learning how to learn, and I am spending time with them each day.

Therefore, I deem "homeschooling" my toddlers a success :)

Finding Contentment

With a click of a button, I feel a thrill go through me. I am happy. And it was so, so easy. You see, I have just purchased something online. It took only a few minutes. I found a good deal, something I wanted, no wait... needed, and bought it. Just like that!

Disappointingly, I realize I will now have to wait for it to arrive. And so I waste more time searching for the next "needed item".

No, I do not have a problem. But I will admit that I enjoy shopping! And the online variety is the most dangerous kind. You see, it is all done on credit, it doesn't feel real. And it is only after the packages start to arrive that you realize how much you spent, and on what.

I have been shopping lately. I bought our homeschool books online, ordered our pictures online, a photo album online, etc. However, if there is anything I am realizing with shopping, it is that I am never content. There is always more.  We don't have one bookshelf in our house, we need that right? I need a new piano light, we need blinds for the kids' rooms, new floors, a new camera. The problem is that these are legitimate needs. To an extent. They are items to which we can live without, however they are items that are important to us and have a purpose. It is far too easy to justify needing something and buying it. But what is a need?

A couple of weeks ago, before any of my online orders came in, I experienced a moment of pure contentment. I would say I don't know where it came from, but I know it came from God. For just one brief moment, I knew what the Bible was talking about... I knew what I wanted to attain. The pure peace, joy, and contentment that can only be found through Jesus. I can't express how happy I was. I saw life as it was, I saw the blessings that are my children and, the books I had coming in, the new opportunities awaiting me. And I was so happy. So content to just be in this stage of my life. And then I forgot about it and it passed. I got impatient waiting for my books and depressed myself with all the things I didn't have.

Here is the truth: we create the discontent and depression we feel most of the time. We start by buying something because we want it, or doing something because we want to... and the feeling doesn't last. We are only happy for a moment and then a sucking vortex of wanting starts to pull us under. Once we make that initial step, satan steps up and grabs hold of our hearts and minds. He gives us obsessive thoughts, he helps us to justify things, he surrounds us with feelings of doubt, unhappiness, depression, disappointment, and dissatisfaction. The way I have been feeling lately is not from me, it is a direct attack from the devil, and I have been just sitting back and letting it happen.

As I went for my walk this morning, in the rain I might add, I prayed that God would help be to be content. I have so much to be thankful for. God is so good! I know that this too, will not last. Pretty soon my human nature and satan's lies will start to penetrate the holy spirit's reassurances and I will be back in the black hole of the world. However, I also know that if I remember to every day ask God to be my hope, to be my strength, to be my unending joy, that He will provide. And once again I will be wanting for nothing. 

Masking... the female pandemic

It has come to my attention that we, mothers-wives-women, have a problem. I will label it "masking". We ALL do it. I rarely come upon someone who does not, and when I do, I usually find them offensive and rude. Ah, a conundrum indeed.







Masking (as defined by myself): The condition in which we say one thing and mean another. The state of being outwardly "nice" "perfect" "understanding" and "accepting" when it is all a lie... or at least some of it is. 

It is starting to drive me nuts!


And yet, in reality, I am one of the worst culprits for it. Take, for example, going to my sister-in-laws. Now, I use this as an example because Sonia is my dearest friend and I know that she is one person I use the least "masking" with. However, I still mask with her a lot. I still fear what she might be thinking or how I appear in her eyes. I still weigh my answers and thoughts so as not to offend or push too hard.

With Sonia, even if we don't always say what we mean, we know each other well enough to see it anyways. So really, what is the point. She can smile and say all the right things, but I know if something is bothering her. The same goes the other way. So tell me, why do we do it??? Wouldn't it just be better to bring it all into the open?

There is a delicate balance. If we all said what we meant all the time, we would be wrong. God commands us to be kind to our neighbour, to use a gentle answer to turn away wrath, to not judge the speck in our neighbours eye when we have a log in our own. We have a calling to not judge our fellow man (or in this case woman), to be accepting, to be kind and caring, to not be callous and cruel. Even when we don't feel like it. So where does that leave us?

Do we take it too far?

I think so. I think people spend their whole lives discovering what that balance truly is. Not being afraid to speak your mind but knowing when to stay silent. Not spouting off your thoughts and opinions unless you are asked about it (or in other words, not giving unwanted advice). I don't want to spend my whole life finding that balance. I want to honor God in my friendships, but still be able to speak truth IN LOVE! I guess that is what it all comes down to, we can speak truth, but we often do it out of pride and superiority rather than humbleness and love.

So, suffice it to say, this pandemic we have as women...

1. We constantly compare ourselves with one another. To two ends... we come out on top and our proud or we come out on the bottom and resent both the person and ourselves

2. We constantly judge people and comments in our minds. Always filtering, spending so much time breaking apart the subtle meanings that we often miss the main message... that that person just wants someone to care and understand.

3. We are two-faced. Smiling and nodding on the outside while thinking callous, judging remarks inwardly. This breeds pride in the worst way.

My conclusion? We are women. We are interpreters of the unsaid, the subtle meanings, the "in between the lines". I want to make sure that what is unsaid is not my prideful, judging thoughts. I want to be sincere, coming across to my friends and family as someone to be trusted. I don't always want to say what I am thinking, but I want to mean what I say, not saying something that is a lie just to make myself feel better, when it doesn't help anyone in the long run. And I want to drop the pretences and stop comparing myself with everyone.

I am not everyone. I am Rebecca. Whom God has called to be a mother of many, despite what people think of that. He has called me to homeschool, to write, to be joyful, to try to maintain a house of order! He has not called Sonia to these same things, nor Jessica, nor Amanda... the people he has not called to this are many. Because this is my calling... I accept it and do not hold it against anyone or lord it above them. I simply lay my cards on the table... this is me, and that is you. Praise God that we are not all the same and can come together in different stages of our lives to encourage one another on the way!

Waiting... not my strong suite.

Waiting requires patience. And patience is NOT a virtue that I possess in copious amounts. I try. And I have definitely gotten better over the years. However, I find that waiting for something I really want makes me irritable. And I am waiting for a lot right now.

I am waiting for my homeschool books to come in so that I can plan my lessons and start school with the kids. There were back orders and they held my order for two weeks before sending it just thursday. I think I will be waiting a while for that one. Sigh. So disappointed.

I am waiting for review books to come in. I usually have so many I don't know where to start. These last few weeks have been a lull, so I have nothing to occupy my time. And this means that they will most likely all come in at once and I will have to read 10 books in a few weeks plus post all the reviews. :(

I am waiting to start my fall schedule with the kids, but for this I kind of need the school books.

I am waiting for bible study to start

I am waiting for payday so that we can go grocery shopping and get more formula, diapers, and groceries.

Waiting for kamloops mom's swap in october so that I can get rid of the 5 garbage bags sitting in my garage.

Waiting for my pictures to come in that I ordered over a week ago! Anxious to get photos into the frames on my wall (currently with pictures of strangers)

Waiting waiting waiting. I feel like my life is on hold right now until some of these things come to pass, and although I am managing, I am not enjoying the process.

Sigh, so... until another day, until another open post office day when hopefully something, ANYTHING will come in the mail :)

Pending Proclamation

Wind. Rain. Sun. Clouds. Fall.

My favorite season. A time for schedules, routines, new possibilities and opportunities. This fall, I have a list of proclamations. I cannot promise to follow them... I am notorious for my lack of follow-through capabilities. But I can promise to try, and to give it a charging start. This is my last week of summer, starting Monday, I am determined to have more routine in our home. And so it is that I promise that:

I will no longer allow myself to sleep in

I will have a coffee before my children present me with their routine whining

I will have a shower so that I feel not like a human hairball, but rather a person... better yet, a mom

I will go on my walk so that I have had time to prepare myself for the onslaught of childhood antics I will undeniably face

I will maintain a clean and organized house

I will teach my children to do daily chores even though it is easier to just do it myself

I will have my kids on a regular, daily sleep schedule to which I will adhere faithfully

I will turn off the TV all day except for while I prepare dinner

I will follow my weekly schedule as faithfully as I can

I will ditch the cereal and mac and cheese and feed my kids healthy, nutritious meals and snacks

I will spend less time on the computer and more time with my kids

I will prepare a weekly meal plan and follow it, determining to make a family dinner each night

I will make a conscious effort to be more careful with our money. To not spend as much and budget more.

Sunday Seranade

"Eat your cereal, stop throwing food!"

My kids just smile and think 'mom's in a mood'

Pushing my buttons, stretching the line

They push and they push, they cry and they whine

My mood turns serious, they know and recant

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" they begin their rote chant

Closing my ears to their half-hearted pleas

I go to my room and get down on my knees

"God, I'm losing it, I'm blowing my top"

"Give me some patience, just help them to stop!"

I come out of my room, prepared for the worst

But my kids are sweet angels, my heart wants to burst

All day long I battle, they push till I drop

And then, only then, will they think they should stop

And just when I think my strength is waning

God gives me some more and my kids stop complaining

I had no idea, I had not a clue

That life as a mother could be such a zoo

A ride of emotions, a maze of the heart

And the scary part is... this is just the start!

Morning Musings

A baby is crying. I try to open my eyes but find them closed... indefinitely. Sitting up in my bed the cold hits me like a slap in the face and I shiver and shake as I make my way, blinded and dizzy, to the kitchen. Bottle, liner, formula, water, a little shake and I can go back to the glorious splendor of my bed, or so I tell myself. Malakai smiles up at me as I pop the bottle into his mouth and hope beyond all hope that he goes back to bed. He doesn't. He coos and squeals and Caleb starts to wake up, I look at the clock in a state of denial, 5:50am. Sighing, and fully awake, I decide I may as well go on my morning walk to clear the cobwebs that have taken up residence in my foggy head. The crisp morning mocks me for a day in August and I pull on a hat and gloves as I walk out the door. I walk, purposefully, determined. I no longer know how to walk any other way. No more meandering, I am a mom and I mean business! As I walk I think, I breathe in the cool fresh air, and I pray "God help me to come home to a quiet house, let me at least have a coffee in peace!" I come back home prepared for the worst and enter the house to silence. How great is my God! I make myself a coffee, and as I finish the last sip in my cup Caleb wakes up... how humorous is my God! Knowing I have no right to complain I greet my son (at 6:45am) with a smile and bundle him up against the cold (time to turn on the heat?!?!?!?!).

It is 7 o' clock. My son eats his breakfast and slyly asks (with a mischievous grin on his face), "what are you doing Rebecca?" Ah son, where do I possibly begin???? He asks for his mouse, a cat toy he found last night and has promptly given a home and a little water dish that he must cart around everywhere he goes. I sit at my computer, hoping to find some portal to the outside world, some connection with some other mom out there who is awake and wishing she was in bed. They are out there, somewhere. The moms who desperately pour themselves a cup of coffee hoping the caffeine kicks in before they have a meltdown. And somehow, without knowing who or where they are, I feel a sense of community with these moms and find I have the strength to turn off my computer and greet the rest of my little family.

HAPPY MORNING EVERYONE!

Why I am a stay at home mom

I recently wrote an article for Suite101 titled, "Should you be a stay at home mom?" and received quite a response from it. I thought I was being very careful to fairly represent both sides of this controversial issue. The reality is, there are many mothers who would like to stay at home with their kids but are unable to afford the cost of living on only one income. Most of the critical comments I received came from mothers who work not because they have to, but because they want to. Although this was not my target audience, I found myself unable to stay silent after I read my last comment. They posted a link they thought would be better received, an article from the globe and mail titled, "Ditch the guilt, working moms: the kids are all right". In order to fully understand my position and arguments, please read this article before proceeding.

Let us begin by carefully examining all sides of this issue. There are three types of career mothers:

1. The financially obligated mother
2. The motivated and goal-orientated mother
3. The "my kids are driving me nuts!" mother

The first group I addressed in my article. I understand and appreciate the mothers who work to help supplement their household income. This is not an easy day and age to live in and sometimes two incomes is the only solution.

To the second group, I can relate. I am a motivated and goal-oriented person myself. I am always looking for the next challenge to conquer, and as soon as I have, I am on to the next hurdle. Because of this, I often battle discontentment and am constantly on the lookout for vices through which I can feel like a person, not just mom. Now, I try to find things that can keep me in my home. Various hobbies can sometimes do the trick, or my current fling with teaching piano lessons. Let's be perfectly clear here: being a mother is not rewarding. I have heard parents say, "being a mom/dad is so rewarding." They are lying. Being a parent is a blessing, and one day we will reap the rewards of our hard work. My children bless me every day! But it is not rewarding. Your kids will not praise you for putting them on timeout for the 100th time or taking away a privilege when you just want the whining to stop! You will not get a pat on the back every time you clean the bathroom or a great referral letter. There is no ladder to climb, no sense of completion (take cleaning the house for example... the job that NEVER ends). So for the parents that yearn for something more, I understand. I too yearn for more at times. And this is where my faith comes in to play. As a Christian, I believe that I am called to be content in my circumstances. Not that I am never allowed to want more, but this is not just where God has put me, but it is where I have put myself. I chose to be a mom. I chose to have kids. Now I live with the reality of that choice... raising them. I daily accept my role and wear the responsibility of that choice and calling. And with God's daily help, I do so with joy!

The third group of mothers are the one to which the posted article refers. To these mothers, I have no mercy. If your reason for working is to escape your children than you are a coward and have every reason to feel guilty. You became a mom, whether by choice or accident, it happened. There are consequences and they are presented in these beautiful little baby's. When a mother says that their child is "driving them crazy" and they just can't stand it anymore (the child to which the woman in the article refers is only 9 months old) then I believe that they are being selfish. Yes, your child will be FINE in daycare. Yes, they will learn some new tricks, copy the older children. They might learn more than they would at home if you just stuck them in front of the TV all day. HOWEVER, they are NOT learning character. They are not learning your values. And, more importantly, they are NOT bonding or forming an attachment to you. Because of this most of these mother's kids will most likely rebel as teenagers. They won't feel obligated to please mom and dad. They will be used to following the crowd and having their "space." They will have all the toys they want, but they will be distant and aloof. And both you, and your child, will suffer in the long run. When they are sick or tired, they won't be calling for you... why would they, you are never around? No, they will call for their nanny or caregiver. They are attached to them. They feel loved, secure, and safe with them. The article states that, "Few (mothers) if any would consider devoting themselves completely to child care" All I can say is that the author of this article doesn't know very many mothers. Hundreds, thousands of mothers choose to devote themselves selfishly and whole heartily to the care and well-being of their child. 


"The real question is: Is staying home with babies generally good for the mental development and behaviour of most new mothers?"


No, my friend. The real question is this: If being with your own child is detrimental to your mental development and behaviour, why on earth did you EVER have kids in the first place?!?!?!?!? 


This article bashes stay at home moms because they guilt working moms. No, working moms feel guilty because they know there is something more to raising kids. Sure, your kids will grow up... with or without your help. But what will they grow into? Who is guiding them and teaching them? Whose values are they learning? Their teachers? Their peers? The cool drug-addict at school? The snotty, rude 7 year old at playgroup? Or perhaps one of the adults they are told and expected to trust who turn out to be a pedophile. Do you know? How could you possibly know the outcome of your child's growth, see the man or woman they will become when you just cart them blindly to their various groups and caregivers, and just hope for the best. 


Hoping is not good enough for me. I intend to KNOW!

Super Moms

Have you ever looked at another mom, or any woman for that matter, who just does everything right? They are up at the crack of dawn, they make a healthy breakfast each morning, they do family devotions, their kids are well-behaved and perfect and for heavens sake! Why are they always baking!!?!?!?!?! Yes, I have met moms like this, I refer to them as super moms. They make me feel guilty about feeding my kids cereal EVERY DAY! Or guilty for raising my voice when I get frustrated. They also inspire me and make me want to be a better mom, do more for my kids. It is a love/hate relationship with those moms, and I can't help but wonder why.

Hold that thought for a minute and come along with me on my morning walk. I haven't gone on it for over a month now and I decided to try this morning. I had forgotten why I did it in the first place. It is not the fresh air, the smell of flowers, even the chance to be alone. No, the real reason I go for my walk is because it is pretty much the only time I get with God each day. I go to pray. I go to bask in His presence and because of that, I come back a different person. As I was nearing home this morning, feeling encouraged, peaceful, and full of JOY, I realized that that is the difference. THAT is the difference between super mom and me. It is not what they do, not who they are, but rather who is shining through them. It gave me such a sense of freedom from guilt and bitterness towards these mothers when I saw that on days I go for my walk, I am supermom. I am motivated, energized, patient, and joyful. I am a better mom, a better wife, and overall a better person. You can't simply know Jesus and expect to be a different person. I realized that I ask God to make me a better mom. And he does. But, he does it for that day. The next day I need to wake up and do it all over again. It takes a constant, everyday relationship with God. It takes me laying my heart before him, my fears and frustrations, my attitude and lack of patience... asking for forgiveness, help, energy, and strength to be the best person I can that day. And even then, it is not what I CAN do, but what Christ does in me. As a Christian my whole life, this is sunday school stuff. I have known it and could have preached it to anyone who came to me. But I guess this morning I received new insight and really owned this principal.


It is not super mom, but rather super charged mom!


And so my friends, I am supercharged today. Don't judge me, don't be bitter or feel guilty, but rather go to your room, lock your door and spend time with God today. You will be a super charged mom too!

Heart Change

It is a wonderful afternoon. I say that because my kids never ended up napping (except for in the car) so I am very excited to lay them down at 7 sharp. We went into town this morning, so my whole day has seemed short. Ah, I love short days. Anyways, we were going to go to the wildlife park, but it is so smokey out there both jonathan and I felt sick and thought it would be best to just leave it. So we went to bag sale at Lizzie Bits instead. I love bag sale. I had a credit from all my consignment, so I got a ton of stuff. Even got to try out the Rockin' Green everyone's been talking about (my load is in the wash right now). Now I sit here, surrounded by a haze of smoke outside, thinking about my day.

We picked up an old school desk today from a lady in town (which as you can see is still in the truck because I am waiting for my sweet husband to carry it in for me). Have I mentioned I LOVE kijiji???? Anyways, she asked what we would be using it for and I told her we would be using it for homeschooling our children. She was very interested in this decision as she said she had always considered it old-fashioned and weird, but more and more people were doing it and she wondered why. So we laid our case before her: what Jonathan has seen and witnessed in the elementary schools, the lack of control over their education, the long time involved sitting both at school and home doing homework and the desire to give our kids a foundation because they are so impressionable. She could tell we were passionate about it and I realized that yeah, I guess we are! A couple of years ago, Jonathan was against homeschooling. It is amazing how this idea has formed and grown in our minds and hearts over the last year that we have been talking about it. We are passionate about our kids and we are passionate about both their education and, more importantly, their souls. We cannot protect them forever, we won't be homeschooling them forever. But, we can give our family a foundation of faith, love, and example that hopefully they will carry throughout their lifetime.

Anyways, here's to a good day, already half gone... and change. Which can sometimes happen so subtly you don't even realize it has occurred :)

Homeschooling Thoughts

Well, Jonathan and I have pretty much decided that we are going to homeschool. I am not sure how long we will do it for, at least for the elementary years we think. We want to draw a fine line. We don't want our children to be too sheltered, but at the same time we want them to have a strong foundation in their faith and in their identities. On that note, I was looking for curriculum for the coming fall. I am in love with A Beka curriculum, how can I not be? It is what I grew up with! I looked at countless other products and none of them are as bright and interesting and high quality as the A Beka books. That being said, A Beka is nearly double the price over most other curriculums and they don't ship to me. So, I ended up purchasing materials from my good friends at Rainbow Resources. I LOVE Rainbow Resources. They are so nice and their prices are pretty much unbeatable. They have an awesome selection of not only homeschool books but also supplies, calendars, etc. and I was able to find everything I needed and more for half the price. I know my kids are a little bit young, but I can't wait to jump the bandwagon. I am an all or nothing person and am so excited to get started on the new school year.

Selah will mostly be coloring pictures and maybe participating in the stories. But Caleb is ready. He is starting to recognize his shapes, letters and numbers, and it will do him no harm to hone this skill. I love school. I love fall. I love schedules and the crisp mornings and the bright colors... the smell of fresh paper the feel of newness and possibility. Fall is my favourite season and I can't wait to share it with my children this year! Bring on September!

Summer Update

As I sit here at my kitchen table listening to my kids "nap" (aka play and sing and generally climb the walls), I can't help but consider the chaos that is my life. In just a few short weeks Malakai has changed so much. He has three teeth, he sits, he crawls, he squeals and screams, he doesn't want to be held and arches to be on the floor. He fusses he frets, he even is starting to sign some words like "all done". He has overnight changed from an infant to a mobile baby and it is hitting me pretty hard. I felt like with the others their transition to babyhood was more gradual. What do I do with this child that I hardly know anymore? He is developing his own personality and preferences and all I can think is: "rewind!"

Selah turned two at the end of July. And thank God, her tantrums and screaming fits are beginning to subside. They still happen every day, but not every minute of the day. And for that I am eternally grateful. She is beginning to morph into this beautiful little girl. She is so kind and caring, compassionate and sensitive, and yet she has this toughness to her (being Caleb's little sister is a prime suspect), this incredible strength that some days I don't have the strength to battle. Selah: my warrior princess. She loves her dolly and puts everything on time out from her animals to her favourite beach ball. She eats like a horse, far surpassing Caleb and most nights... me too. Her smile pretty much lights up my life and I am so thankful to have this little girl in my life.

Caleb turns three tomorrow. I can hardly believe it! He isn't a toddler any longer and everyday he surprises me with some new tidbit of knowledge he has acquired. Darned TV, he sure doesn't get all that from me so where else does it come from? He is a little mother, he considers Malakai his "son" (to which we have had a number of arguments that I seem to lose on a pretty consistent basis). He is constantly asking me "Mama, can you put Selah on timeout please?" making sure that she receives her just rewards (the fact is he is usually right, she needs a timeout, oy vey). Bedtime has become my constant battleground and the only way to get him to sleep is to sit outside his room like a sleep vigilante. He crawls into Malakai's crib to play with him at least 20 times before finally succumbing to sleep. He is my biggest helper most of the time and he is such a boy. Always playing with his cars and trying to tackle you to the floor. His smile can melt me and he knows it too, using his charm to its utmost capabilities.

Ah my kids, I don't know where to start or how to end. They are everything to me. They are my life, my aspirations and goals, my heart and my soul. They are the reason I get up the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night. They are growing up. I can remember... and I mean REMEMBER the moment each of them were born as if it were yesterday and here they are, their own little people. What a powerful thing, having children. Teaching them, raising them to be strong, capable adults. Whoever said being a stay-at-home mom wasn't a career? The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, isn't it so? I may not be raising the next Prime Minister, but I am raising little people who will inevitably touch the lives of those around them. So bring it on I say! And may God give me the strength I need to be the best I can be today.

Top Reasons I am Proud to be Canadian

I'll be completely honest here, in the past I have not felt a grand sense of patriotism towards my country. Sure, I think it is beautiful, but I have been frustrated with its politics and seemingly lethargic attitude. It wasn't until this year, watching the Olympics, that I truly felt PROUD to be Canadian. We live in one of the most beautiful countries in the world, and I am feeling rather patriotic on this holiday for the following reasons:

1. Canadians are so polite.
Just the other day Sonia and I were talking about how you can always tell an American by their blatant "me-first" attitude. You can tell them by their driving, even by the way they walk... When a Canadian walks down the street, they talk to strangers, "hi, nice day out today. How are you?" They hold open doors for other people, they are there to lend a helping hand. Now, I am not trying to bash my American neighbours over there, to be honest I don't blame them. There are so many people in the States, if you don't think of yourself, you get mowed over down there! And there is no question that not everyone is like that. But the fact remains, Canada is a kind country, and I am thankful to be a part of that.

2. Canada is Beautiful
When I see pictures of different countries, Greece, Mexico, Italy, I am envious and wish I could go there, see their beauty. We may not be surrounded by blue-green waters, but we are surrounded by beauty. We have forests and lakes, rivers and stunning waterfalls, islands, amazing wildlife! This country is beautiful! It is raw, it is natural, and I love that.

3. Canada is Versatile
If you go to the Amazon, you can expect to find the hot and humid rainforest. If you go to anywhere along the equator, you can expect to find hot climates. In Canada, nothing is to be expected. There is rain and snow, wind and cold. It is hot in the summer and cold in the winter. Along the west coast there is rain, up north it is cooler. We are surrounded by mountain ranges and passes. Canada is a versatile country, and every year is different than the last.

4. Canadians are inspirational
I was trying to think of what word to use here, a word to describe how we aim for the best. We aren't necessarily the "best". We don't have the best singers in the world, we are not the hub of famous actors. (although apparently we are the best athletically this year :) But we always try. Watching the olympics, I felt a sense of community I have never felt before, and I was inspired. Inspired by these day to day people I was watching do extraordinary things. Inspired by the people shamelessly cheering their country on. Inspired by the faces of expectation, by the very heart of our country expressed so openly. Yes, we are an inspirational country.

5. Canadians are accepting
To our detriment at times, we accept. We accept people and races of every kind, Canada is sought after by thousands of immigrants each year. We provide jobs for them, we provide education for them, we accept them into our communities and circles. We are an attractive country to come to, it is strange to think that as much as I want to go and travel, people want to travel here! :)

These are just a few of the many reasons I am proud to be a Canadian this holiday. Not to mention our healthcare system as being one of the best in the world. With three small children, I could not imagine having to pay each time they needed an x-ray or a test. I trust this country to take care of me and my family, I think this country is beautiful, and I am honored to bear the name: "Canadian" this day!

Monthly Confessional: Identity Crisis

My kids are asleep, the house has transformed from my cage to my sanctuary. Its many corners and crevices are all mine to explore and search for the peace and quiet I am so desperate to find. And so it is that I find myself a cozy little space and sit down to write my monthly confessional. June, a month of spontaneity. Wind and calm, sun and rain, wind and stillness. I have been forced to consider why I feel a sense of discontent these last weeks. What is it that causes this stir deep within to reach out for something more? I have everything I could ever wish for. A wonderful husband, three beautiful (albeit spunky) children, a home of my own... no it is not possessions I desire, I am feeling a sense of loss this month. Feeling the loss of my 'youth'. I quote that for the sake of those who are rolling their eyes at my dramatist mentality. My age is not lost on me, I am still young, a fact I am reminded of every time someone realizes these children I traipse after all day are actually mine! No, it is not the number that I begrudge. I guess I feel like this stage of my life is stealing something from me, a part of who I used to be. I used to be fun, spontaneous, full of life, so sure of myself! Now I feel tired, bored with the same routine in and out day-by-day, and insecure.


So my monthly confessional is this: I miss that which I never had. I wish I didn't have to let go of that fun, spontaneous person I used to be. I wish I could take my husband out without worrying over babysitters and money. I wish I could do something new, something exciting! I am watching myself turn into a mom, a real mom. Serious, responsible, all the things I both resented and admired in my own mother... and it scares me and makes me a little bit sad for the person I am leaving behind. Maybe this has been happening for a while and I just haven't seen it, I mean the last three years have been pretty busy with weddings, new babies, moving, etc. Now that everything has settled down and I have time to sit down and reminisce, I realize that somewhere along the way I changed. Not only did I assume a mantle of responsibility and seriousness that wasn't there before, but I lost a lot of my confidence. Shouldn't it be the other way around? No, I feel all mixed up. I don't belong any longer with the young, unmarried people. I don't even belong with the married people. I belong with the parent people. People who are mostly older than me. I feel out of place. I feel insecure. And I HATE that! When I walk into a room of people, I have to force myself to put on a face when really I just want to go back home. WHO AM I?!?!?!?!? No, I don't think this is an age crisis at all, it is an identity crisis. It's all about who I am now versus who I used to be. 


I suppose the question is what do I do with it? I don't know the answer to that. Things, experiences, are not going to change the person that I am. I guess it is just something I am going to have to accept and let go. But that is a lot easier than it sounds. I feel like I am all of a sudden in strange boots that DON'T FIT! I don't know how to walk in them and I just want my old ones back. But I can't. I think I will grow into this new role, this new person that God is forming me into. There is no use fighting something that is inevitable, I will only make it harder on myself. My confessional, I am in a total identity crisis right now. And so very tempted to go out and be spontaneous, laugh, be carefree! Sigh. I need my sister :) 

Sweeter as we go...

I have thoughts, as crazy as it might sound. And as I have been unable to portray these thoughts in passing conversations, I have decided to attempt it in writing...

Over the last 7 months since Malakai's birth, both Jonathan and I have spent both time and energy discussing and searching as to why we feel so strongly towards him. Perhaps it is because he was born pre-mature. Maybe it is because of his personality. Maybe we both just love babies and were like this with all the children and we don't remember. Maybe it is that he was so little and has been in and out of the hospital more than the others. We guess and we wonder, we discuss and we ponder. And I believe I have finally achieved an opinion regarding the matter.

As time has progressed and with each new baby we have felt as though we cherish this baby more than the last. Let me clarify that I am not saying love or favor, simply cherish. And I believe that that is because after experiencing it 3 times now, we know that it passes so quickly and we are taking our time to enjoy and treasure the short time that we have. To us, baby's truly are sweeter as we go. I can already anticipate that whenever we have another, I will look at my older three and wonder where the time has gone and try to snatch every last minute I can with the new one while I still can. The second reason is that we have two toddlers. Screaming, fighting, toddlers who require nearly constant time and attention and copious amounts of patience! So when we see sweet little Malakai cooing and smiling and babbling at us, asking nothing, doing nothing wrong... we are drawn to his innocence and his ease. He is easy to be with. He is a breath of fresh air in the midst of our chaos! :)

In conclusion, we love all of our children dearly and equally, albeit differently. Each of them carries so many characteristics that draw us to them, make us laugh. However as time flies by and our lives continue to somehow get away from us, each passing child becomes more and more precious, a reason to slow down and "smell the downy baby hair." And that is a temptation I can't bear to pass up! Mmmm, I have to go snuggle my son now! Good night all!

Part I: A Glimpse into the Life of...

Part 1:

A Glimpse into the Life of... Caleb

"Mama! Maaaaama! Mamamamamama!" The familiar sound accosts my ears and I sigh in defeat knowing that at this very moment my son has awakened not only me, but the entire household. 

"Shhhhh, daddy's sleeping," my morning mantra sounds effortlessly from my lips. Feeling put out that the first words I speak to my son in the morning are to quiet him, I comfort myself in the fact that it is in an effort to maintain peace in the home.

"Hi mama, I'm hungry. I want some cheerios. Taleb wants some cheerios."

"Yes, son I know you are hungry. Let's go get some cereal."

"YAAAAAY! Cheerios, cheerios, cheerios!" well, so much for keeping the house quiet. I try to be annoyed that my whole house has been usurped by this tiny little man in front of me, but I can't as he sings his cheerio song and jumps his way to the kitchen to claim his prize. Sigh.

I now know why babies and toddlers are so cute, God made them that way so that you would be addicted to them despite their many downfalls :) We bound our way to the kitchen (well, he bounds... I stumble awkwardly) and I pour him some cereal only to have to go and grab the rest of the children who are now wide awake at the sound of Caleb's proclaimed joy. Malakai wants to eat, Selah wants some cereal too, and I dream of coffee, anticipating it's reviving qualities.

The morning seems to get away from me. Caleb steals Selah's spoon, he encourages her to bang on the table (which he knows they are not allowed to do), he pokes her, he makes her scream, he coos and talks to his brother, he whines for more cereal. Feeling as though I have lived a lifetime in one short morning, I look at the clock only to find that a mere 5 minutes has passed, and I still have at least 600 minutes to go. Oh man, this does not bode well for me! 

The day drags on in typical spooner fashion, screaming, fighting, and in Caleb's case... silliness.

ie. The house is silent, which means the kids are not fighting, which means that Caleb and Selah are seperated, which means that Caleb has gotten into something. I run around the house and find him in the kitchen, hiding under the table. Aha! Food. Sure enough, he has stolen a pear off the counter and is chowing down under the table. Upon being caught he looks up at me with no guilt, but rather an expression of "shoot, you caught me mom, you won't catch me next time! It was soooo worth it!"

"Here you go mama" he says as he gives it over to me with a big smile. He doesn't fool me, I know what is going on in that little head. Already, at two and a half, he tries to pull the wool over my eyes. Does he really think that I will believe he was just getting the pear for mama. Whatever son, good thing mama's no idiot.

ie 2. One of Caleb's newest antics is to be ticklish at everything. You can't touch him, change his clothes, wash him, or change his diaper without squealing, screaming, laughing and arching. Which makes changing him next to impossible. I get annoyed, but at least he is being happy, right?

Or spontaneous animal behaviour. One minute he is talking to you or looking at you, the next he is roaring or neighing or galloping around the house. Really hard to take him seriously. And a little embarrassing when someone says hi to him and he growls back. Wow. That's my son, the bear! Or the horsie! Ay yi yi!

Straight out of the horse's mouth:

"Mama, I wanna pet Malakai" (um, son, Malakai is not an animal, but sure! You can pet him)

"Mama, you're beautiful, you a princess!" (WHERE did you learn about princesses?!?!?!)

"But mama, I wanna hit Selah. PLEEEEASE mama" (ya, the answer is still no bud)

Me: "son, cousin Kyra's coming over. Are you excited?"

Caleb: "yay! But mama, kyra not bite taleb." (no son, we can hope not :)

"Mama, DON'T TALK TO ME!" (nice try mr. attitude)

Slowly Going Crazy

Or quickly going crazy. Sigh. These last few days have been the epitome of challenging. With rain and being stuck in the house, Jonathan working overtime and hardly around, and my own personal lack of sleep... we've been in for a round of profound impatience on my part. The only thing that is getting me through the long days is going for my walks/runs in the morning and praying for an extra measure of grace and patience with my family for that day. I cannot imagine having another child right now, this is when it starts to get interesting!

Malakai is officially not a newborn anymore. He was my "newborn" for the longest. Just laid there, smiled, was content and happy, slept a lot. Over this last week, it has changed overnight. He kicks and squeals, is starting to roll, grabbing for toys, trying to sit more, babbling, crying, wanting to be held and interacted with... it is the battle I wage between loving this stage and missing the old. My little boy is growing up.

Selah is, as I write, putting all her stuffed animals and toys on the naughty chair. Telling them to "look at me" and "are you happy?" she asks in her most stern, adult-voice. She is my jeckle and hyde. One minute she will be the cutest, most cheerful girl in the room, the next she is screaming and throwing a complete fit on the floor. Sigh. If I had to rate my children on their level of difficulty, without a doubt she is my most challenging child at this point. She pushes me and battles me to the bitter end. "Are you happy?" I will ask her. "No, nnn." She'll pull away and scowl and fight, knowing she will be put on timeout for it. Some days I feel like that is all I do, battle with my daughter. Anyone who said that girls are easy as babies was dead wrong!

Caleb can be so well behaved. For him, the tantrums are a thing of the past. He understands more, I can reason with him, explain things to him. However, the attitude he has started to rear astounds me. He talks back to me like children I have judged my whole life. "Don't talk to me!" "Go away mom!" "Stop it mom" "Don't touch me!" etc. etc. etc. I spend my days with a large "excuse me?!?!?!?!" on my lips, as he sasses me like nothing I have ever heard. Oy vey. Just when they grow out of something and seem to be doing better, they adopt a new behavioural issue to deal with.

Needless to say, I am tired. I am worn down day by day. Each day feels like a battleground, and I am so weary of battle. Maybe that is why God asked us to put on the armor of God, I always viewed it as defense against the enemy. Now I wonder if it isn't as simple as defense for your day. Faith and truth and the word of God. I NEED the word of God to give me the strength I need for each day. Sigh. Well, until another day.

Midnight Mobilization

I went to bed in a state of sheer exhaustion. The effects of a long day with the children was wearing on me and washing the floor on my hands and knees was my undoing. Checking on the kids in one last attempt at 'grown-up responsibility' I finally collapsed on my bed. Allergy medication running through my veins, sending me to a place of distant awareness, I slept.

I was awakened by a squawk from my son in the wee hours of the morning. Let me clarify, that I wasn't just hearing the noise from a groggy distance, no, I was awake. I wasn't sure I understood when parents talked about waking up at your child's every sound. Probably because I was always so sleep deprived with newborns that I was never rested enough to truly wake up. Well, last night, I officially joined the ranks of alert parents everywhere.

I JOLTED awake. It was not a scream, not a sound of need or even a drawn-out cry. Rather a sound of annoyance. And every nerve in my being jumped at the sound. I sat up in bed with a start and wondered where I was and what I was doing. My mind may have been still half-asleep, but my body was not. Adrenaline coursing through my veins I knew I had been woken up for a reason. Once my sleepy thoughts caught up with the rest of me, I determined that it was Malakai and sneaked in to his room to discover the problem. He lay there, wide awake, sucking his fingers. Now, the great debate. He wasn't crying, he can easily make it through the night without eating, so what do I do? I decided to leave him to his own devices, he looked like he would just soothe himself back to sleep.

Crawling back into the warmth of my bed and trying to slow my still beating heart, I attempted to fall asleep once again. No, this is not a story of any great occurrence. Before I fell asleep, it happened to me at least two more times. I would be just starting to doze and he would give another squeak and the adrenaline would jolt me back awake. I swear, it was better than a cup of espresso! 

Needless to say, I am tired this morning. But taking it all as a sign that I am overall rested enough to be very aware of what is normal and what isn't.  And so I sit: looking at the sunshine, drinking my cup of coffee, and held captive by these three little kids I have. Enjoy your Sunday everyone!

The Case For Having Children

Children compose the future. They inexplicably write the course of history and it all starts with their lives here and now. In today's society, the case for not having children is everywhere. A young couple is inundated with remarks and "helpful advice" as to why they should not have children. And for those young families who have one or two kids, they are told that they shouldn't have anymore. Why?

The case for not having children seems vast: they ruin your marriage, they ruin your relationships, they are expensive and draining, and they suck you dry of all your resources. So the question young couples are faced with today is: why should I have kids?

Why Should I Have Kids?

1. Having children is rewarding

• Each milestone a child reaches is as powerful as though you were reaching one for yourself. When a baby smiles up at you for the first time, or your son takes his first step, these small feats will make you so proud!
• What could a child possibly offer me, you ask. They offer a tangible, visible, constant reminder of your greatest accomplishments. You invest into their little lives every minute of every day, and when you see them adopting your values, or learning their manners, or trying to share, you feel such an incredible sense of accomplishment.

2. Having children keeps you young

• Many of today's parents are a hard sell for having a family. They look haggard and tired, drained and withdrawn. However, it has been my experience that having kids keeps you young. I am sure you have heard the phrase, "living vicariously through your children." It is so true. You may take the outdoors for granted, however when you take your one-year-old for a walk and they see an ant for the first time with wonder and fear and innate curiosity, you are drawn to feel the same way. When they ask you why? You are driven to find the answer out. They bring you into the mind of a child, they keep you running, jumping, and thinking every day of your life. What better brain exersizes could you need?

3. Kids are your legacy

• What will you have if your spouse dies? Who will be left to give your life meaning purpose? What will you be like when you sit alone in a retirement home and no one cares? Children are your legacy. They are the reason you can die content, knowing that a part of you is living on. A part of you will never die. They give life meaning, they give every day a sense of joy. They open your heart to love so that you are able to go on if someone in your life dies. You instil your values, your morals, your thoughts and opinions and your genes, and watch it germinate and grow. It is your legacy! What better reason is there?

4. Having children adopts you into the elite "click" of parenthood

• There is no doubt about it, having kids changes your relationships with everyone around you. You have less time, your childless friends won't be able to relate to your new schedule and your new set of priorities. The love you feel for your children is all consuming and someone who has not experienced that will not understand. However, having kids will present you with a whole new set of relationships and opportunities. There are endless online forums, family centres, playgroups, and places to connect. Never again will you walk in a room and not know what to say. Bring up childbirth, teething, or potty training and you will have a twenty minute conversation topic on your hands!
• Having children will open the doors to a whole new social circle. And although you may never go back to your parties or your spontaneous lifestyles, you will enter into something like a family group that will support and encourage you so you will not be alone.

5. Children are entertaining

• If children are anything, it is entertaining. You and your spouse are sure to find hours of conversations regarding their latest antics or performances. Not a day will go by that they won't at least try to make you laugh, and their imaginative ingenuity will constantly keep you guessing.

6. Children will make you a better person

•  Children inspire you to be a better person. They bring out the best in you. You are changed overnight from being relatively selfish, because you can be, to caring for another human being. It doesn't matter if you are tired or sick, someone else needs you and you are ultimately forced to be responsible and selfless. 

Children Are a Gift

I am sure it is a phrase you have heard time and time again, children are a blessing, they are a gift. But it is true. You see, it doesn't matter if money is tight or you are having a bad day or your kids have been misbehaving all day long. There will always be that one moment when they look into your eyes and tell you they love you or give you a heart-wrenching smile and you know, somewhere deep inside your gut, that it is all going to be okay. That this is the reason that you are alive! That you are devoting yourself to something, someone who could potentially change the world. And each day is an opportunity to be a better person.

How sick is too sick?

One of the greatest dilemma's I have faced as a parent is when I should take my child in to the doctor. In a society where everyone is trying to cover their buts, getting an honest opinion is next to impossible. Take the new 811 nurses hotline for example, I have called there at least 5 times and never received any helpful advice. In fact, the only advice I have ever received is to take myself/my child in to the doctor or the hospital immediately. Great, thanks, my next door neighbour could have told me that one. I mean seriously, why are we paying to have a 24/7 hotline that can't tell us any information other than refer us to a doctor. It is a waste of my time and my money.

Needless to say, yesterday when Malakai came down with this flu, we called the hotline. And surprise, surprise... were told to take him in. In fact, they even called me back and tried to convince me to take him in an ambulance. Sure, if you'll be paying for that! The over-reaction is ironic considering that the nurses at the hospital make you feel like a fool for coming in at all. Wow. Where is the middle line? You know what I am talking about, the snub-nosed doctors and nurses who smirk condescendingly as they ask, "So why are you here today dear?" Yeah, newsflash doc, I have three of these guys at home and I'm no idiot!

Sigh. Well, we took him in. And it was a good thing. They were able to give him an anti-nauseant and rehydrate him with enfalyte. At his age, there is not much else I could have done so I didn't let the silly remarks get to me. But I must admit, this constant guessing game of parenthood is overwhelming at times. Should I do this or that? Should I wait or should I react? Should I take them in or should I wait? I guess it all comes down to taking opinions and forming my own decision. I know my children, I know when they are really sick or when I have exhausted all my options. At that point, I need to put on my armour, take them in, and not let their comments get to me. I am mom, I know best!