Vacation Survival Guide

After recently embarking on our first family vacation, I think I have come back a wiser woman. Traveling with children is never easy, but traveling with three children under 3 was definitely.... memorable :) Needless to say, from long car trips, to fast-food, to ferry rides, to hotels, here are a few of the things I learned along the way.

Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Domestic Disasters

After driving all afternoon, we finally arrived at our first stop. And it begins... unload kids, unload playpens, unload suitcases, bring in the diaper bag, bring in blankets and other items of attachment. Go in, get kids in their pajama's, feed them snacks, put them to bed. Run back to the car for all the things we have forgotten along the way. An hour later, the kids finally finally fell asleep and we crawled into bed, exhausted and preparing for the wake-up call at 4:30am.
12:00am... Malakai wakes up for a bottle. By the time I get it ready and come back to him he is asleep. Run back up and put the bottle in the fridge.
1:00am... Selah throws up. Over everything! Look for a washing machine, unsuccessful, hope you can get it washed in time for tomorrow.
2:00am-Caleb wakes up crying. Run upstairs looking for throw-up containers... just in case. He is fine. Go back to sleep.

4:30am-Time to get up and go! I get ready, wake up the kids (Selah throws up again), and we rush to the ferry.
Can you say gong show?!?!?!?! Needless to say, we did it. We got there. Selah was exhausted, sick, and basically a walking meltdown. I have never dealt with my kids in such extreme circumstances. So many things to remember, danger lurks in every corner. They wander off, trying to keep our eyes on them at all times. Now that I look back I really don't know how I did it, somehow you just do it. You just get by. You still find joy in the circumstances, despite the screaming child in your arms. You are tired, you are annoyed, but you are excited and in awe of all the new things. Watching Caleb run around on the boat, watching their eyes light up as they looked out at the water. Through pouring rain, we persevered. And it was one of the best experiences of my life!

So, vacation survival tip number 1: Don't let your child hold you back. They might be screaming, fighting, kicking. They might be exhausted and hungry and grumpy, but often if you just stick it out, drag them to the beach despite the circumstances, most likely you will be glad you did. You get to experience something new, they often snap out of it, if only for a short while, and together you get to explore and experience something incredible together.

Practical tips:

1. If you are in the car for a long time, pack each child a separate car bag. Fill it with little toys such as cars, action figurines, mini animals, water, blankies, etc. This was my SAVIOUR! The kids played with those little things all the way there and if ever you are at someone's house who has no toys, you can bring it in and your kids are entertained. LIFE SAVER!

2. Bring movies and a DVD player, the investment is WELL worth it!

3. Be prepared for the worst, pack advil for you, gravol and children's tylenol, etc. And don't forget a puke bucket! Might save you a boatload of grief.

4. Food, food, and more food. When you kids are melting down, food is the way to their hearts! Have snacks, granola bars, juice, cookies, etc. ready at a moments notice. Now that I have done this, I would ditch the diaper bag and food bag and just pack a medium duffel bag with tons of diapers, medicine, snacks, etc. Then when you are going somewhere, you can just throw a diaper in your purse and you have everything together.

5. HAND SANITIZER!

6. Don't worry about their schedules. My kids need their sleep, they were up until all hours of the night, every night. They missed naps, I thought they would be disasters. No doubt about it, they had their moments. But then they would snap out of it when they saw the crashing waves, or the aquarium, or touched a starfish for the first time, or heard the ferry horn blasting... I have never been so amazed at their resilience or so proud of their ability to take each moment.

7. Go with someone else. Yes, sometimes it is annoying when you want to do something, or they want to do something, but you can always split up. In the long run, you have two extra adults, extra eyes and hands, someone to laugh with when you feel like crying as your kids throw themselves on the floor screaming.... again. Someone to foot the bill of food and accommodations. Someone for the kids to play with.

8. Either bring a little potty so your kids can pee on the side of the road or (if you have boys) a water bottle that they can pee in (works great!).

9. COFFEE!

10. If you are staying in a cabin as opposed to a hotel, find out about laundry. You can pack less clothes and just wash everything every night.

Overall, the episodes of craziness were worse than anything I have experienced. But the location, the new sights, the excitement, the sense of family and closeness as we explored and learned together, made it all worth it. We plan on going back again next year, and this time, hopefully, I will be more prepared :)

Bittersweet Baby

I recently was able to be at the hospital and see my brand new little niece just minutes after she was born. As I held this adorable little bundle in my arms and saw her look up at me in wonder and seemingly deep thought, I began to contemplate the many emotions, feelings, and thoughts running through my head. Undoubtedly I felt a pang of wanting another one. Who wouldn't? But the most prominent emotion I felt? I wanted to come home and hold Malakai. In my head, he is still my little baby. I literally hardly stayed at the hospital. I sped all the way home and cuddled all my babies in my arms.

I will be very clear: we want more kids. I want more kids. I have always wanted a large family, and having children has only strengthened this desire in me. Being a mother is everything I thought it would be and more! Of course it isn't all peaches and cream all the time, but my children are my world. When a brand new little baby, who looks like Jonathan and I is placed in my arms. When those little babies cuddle with you and look up into your eyes and coo and smile, who wouldn't fall in love?

Needless to say, although we want more I am so content with my little family right now. I have one in the preschool stage, one in the toddler (heaven help me) and one still in baby stage. I am busy, I am happy, and I am wanting for nothing. When we do get pregnant again I will be thrilled, but for now I am content to cuddle with Malakai. In fact, I almost don't want it to change for a bit :) Bet you never thought you'd hear those words from me eh?

Homeschooling: Week One

Well, we are officially about a week in to homeschooling, I started with the kids on saturday (they don't know that is a weekend) as soon as I got my books in. Most of the books are too advanced for Selah, all she wants to do is color, put the lids on and off of the felts, and play with her new pencil case :) But Caleb is getting into it. He is learning his alphabet, his numbers, we are working on signs, he is coloring and reinforcing his colors and we do bible every day. Here is my school schedule, a look at what actually happens:

7:00am-wake the kids, eat breakfast, get them dressed and ready
7:30am-chore time (this has not been going over as well as I thought, it could be renamed as "whining hour" as that is all they do, but I am trying to get them to help out with a cheerful attitude)
8:00am-bible time (here we do a bible story, pray, I play the piano and we sing little songs, they dance to music and then we sometimes do some art (basically color))
8:30am-school time. What I thought would take me an hour, takes me about half that time, but we just color, I turn on some music and they bounce away. We talk about our colors, caleb and I work through the alphabet, etc.
9:00am-here we watch signing time together and I make them sign each word
9:30-we get ready for activity time from 10-12 (sometimes this is the library, or playgroup, or bible study, etc.)
12:00-lunch and naps


It isn't totally smoothed out. I have discovered that the teaching aspect is pretty relaxed. Especially with Selah. However, Caleb is learning. He has not known his ABC's other than the tune of the song he would fumble along to. Now he can point out nearly all the letters of the alphabet. He is learning his numbers, he knows his colors, and he is genuinely absorbing the bible stories each day. You can't really homeschool a 2 and 3 year old, more than anything my "homeschooling" is just doing learning activities with them and spending more one on one time. The schedule is more for me than them. They watch way less TV, I am a scheduled person and enjoy the structure, and so do they. They are learning to help out around the house and learning about God. Because of that, it is worth it. Even if I feel like it is going in one ear and out the other. The other day at the store, Caleb was looking at the flowers "mom, God made the flowers!" What a gift to know that he is storing these little "lessons" in his heart. My kids are happier, they are (hopefully) getting on a schedule, they are learning how to learn, and I am spending time with them each day.

Therefore, I deem "homeschooling" my toddlers a success :)

Finding Contentment

With a click of a button, I feel a thrill go through me. I am happy. And it was so, so easy. You see, I have just purchased something online. It took only a few minutes. I found a good deal, something I wanted, no wait... needed, and bought it. Just like that!

Disappointingly, I realize I will now have to wait for it to arrive. And so I waste more time searching for the next "needed item".

No, I do not have a problem. But I will admit that I enjoy shopping! And the online variety is the most dangerous kind. You see, it is all done on credit, it doesn't feel real. And it is only after the packages start to arrive that you realize how much you spent, and on what.

I have been shopping lately. I bought our homeschool books online, ordered our pictures online, a photo album online, etc. However, if there is anything I am realizing with shopping, it is that I am never content. There is always more.  We don't have one bookshelf in our house, we need that right? I need a new piano light, we need blinds for the kids' rooms, new floors, a new camera. The problem is that these are legitimate needs. To an extent. They are items to which we can live without, however they are items that are important to us and have a purpose. It is far too easy to justify needing something and buying it. But what is a need?

A couple of weeks ago, before any of my online orders came in, I experienced a moment of pure contentment. I would say I don't know where it came from, but I know it came from God. For just one brief moment, I knew what the Bible was talking about... I knew what I wanted to attain. The pure peace, joy, and contentment that can only be found through Jesus. I can't express how happy I was. I saw life as it was, I saw the blessings that are my children and, the books I had coming in, the new opportunities awaiting me. And I was so happy. So content to just be in this stage of my life. And then I forgot about it and it passed. I got impatient waiting for my books and depressed myself with all the things I didn't have.

Here is the truth: we create the discontent and depression we feel most of the time. We start by buying something because we want it, or doing something because we want to... and the feeling doesn't last. We are only happy for a moment and then a sucking vortex of wanting starts to pull us under. Once we make that initial step, satan steps up and grabs hold of our hearts and minds. He gives us obsessive thoughts, he helps us to justify things, he surrounds us with feelings of doubt, unhappiness, depression, disappointment, and dissatisfaction. The way I have been feeling lately is not from me, it is a direct attack from the devil, and I have been just sitting back and letting it happen.

As I went for my walk this morning, in the rain I might add, I prayed that God would help be to be content. I have so much to be thankful for. God is so good! I know that this too, will not last. Pretty soon my human nature and satan's lies will start to penetrate the holy spirit's reassurances and I will be back in the black hole of the world. However, I also know that if I remember to every day ask God to be my hope, to be my strength, to be my unending joy, that He will provide. And once again I will be wanting for nothing. 

Masking... the female pandemic

It has come to my attention that we, mothers-wives-women, have a problem. I will label it "masking". We ALL do it. I rarely come upon someone who does not, and when I do, I usually find them offensive and rude. Ah, a conundrum indeed.







Masking (as defined by myself): The condition in which we say one thing and mean another. The state of being outwardly "nice" "perfect" "understanding" and "accepting" when it is all a lie... or at least some of it is. 

It is starting to drive me nuts!


And yet, in reality, I am one of the worst culprits for it. Take, for example, going to my sister-in-laws. Now, I use this as an example because Sonia is my dearest friend and I know that she is one person I use the least "masking" with. However, I still mask with her a lot. I still fear what she might be thinking or how I appear in her eyes. I still weigh my answers and thoughts so as not to offend or push too hard.

With Sonia, even if we don't always say what we mean, we know each other well enough to see it anyways. So really, what is the point. She can smile and say all the right things, but I know if something is bothering her. The same goes the other way. So tell me, why do we do it??? Wouldn't it just be better to bring it all into the open?

There is a delicate balance. If we all said what we meant all the time, we would be wrong. God commands us to be kind to our neighbour, to use a gentle answer to turn away wrath, to not judge the speck in our neighbours eye when we have a log in our own. We have a calling to not judge our fellow man (or in this case woman), to be accepting, to be kind and caring, to not be callous and cruel. Even when we don't feel like it. So where does that leave us?

Do we take it too far?

I think so. I think people spend their whole lives discovering what that balance truly is. Not being afraid to speak your mind but knowing when to stay silent. Not spouting off your thoughts and opinions unless you are asked about it (or in other words, not giving unwanted advice). I don't want to spend my whole life finding that balance. I want to honor God in my friendships, but still be able to speak truth IN LOVE! I guess that is what it all comes down to, we can speak truth, but we often do it out of pride and superiority rather than humbleness and love.

So, suffice it to say, this pandemic we have as women...

1. We constantly compare ourselves with one another. To two ends... we come out on top and our proud or we come out on the bottom and resent both the person and ourselves

2. We constantly judge people and comments in our minds. Always filtering, spending so much time breaking apart the subtle meanings that we often miss the main message... that that person just wants someone to care and understand.

3. We are two-faced. Smiling and nodding on the outside while thinking callous, judging remarks inwardly. This breeds pride in the worst way.

My conclusion? We are women. We are interpreters of the unsaid, the subtle meanings, the "in between the lines". I want to make sure that what is unsaid is not my prideful, judging thoughts. I want to be sincere, coming across to my friends and family as someone to be trusted. I don't always want to say what I am thinking, but I want to mean what I say, not saying something that is a lie just to make myself feel better, when it doesn't help anyone in the long run. And I want to drop the pretences and stop comparing myself with everyone.

I am not everyone. I am Rebecca. Whom God has called to be a mother of many, despite what people think of that. He has called me to homeschool, to write, to be joyful, to try to maintain a house of order! He has not called Sonia to these same things, nor Jessica, nor Amanda... the people he has not called to this are many. Because this is my calling... I accept it and do not hold it against anyone or lord it above them. I simply lay my cards on the table... this is me, and that is you. Praise God that we are not all the same and can come together in different stages of our lives to encourage one another on the way!

Waiting... not my strong suite.

Waiting requires patience. And patience is NOT a virtue that I possess in copious amounts. I try. And I have definitely gotten better over the years. However, I find that waiting for something I really want makes me irritable. And I am waiting for a lot right now.

I am waiting for my homeschool books to come in so that I can plan my lessons and start school with the kids. There were back orders and they held my order for two weeks before sending it just thursday. I think I will be waiting a while for that one. Sigh. So disappointed.

I am waiting for review books to come in. I usually have so many I don't know where to start. These last few weeks have been a lull, so I have nothing to occupy my time. And this means that they will most likely all come in at once and I will have to read 10 books in a few weeks plus post all the reviews. :(

I am waiting to start my fall schedule with the kids, but for this I kind of need the school books.

I am waiting for bible study to start

I am waiting for payday so that we can go grocery shopping and get more formula, diapers, and groceries.

Waiting for kamloops mom's swap in october so that I can get rid of the 5 garbage bags sitting in my garage.

Waiting for my pictures to come in that I ordered over a week ago! Anxious to get photos into the frames on my wall (currently with pictures of strangers)

Waiting waiting waiting. I feel like my life is on hold right now until some of these things come to pass, and although I am managing, I am not enjoying the process.

Sigh, so... until another day, until another open post office day when hopefully something, ANYTHING will come in the mail :)

Pending Proclamation

Wind. Rain. Sun. Clouds. Fall.

My favorite season. A time for schedules, routines, new possibilities and opportunities. This fall, I have a list of proclamations. I cannot promise to follow them... I am notorious for my lack of follow-through capabilities. But I can promise to try, and to give it a charging start. This is my last week of summer, starting Monday, I am determined to have more routine in our home. And so it is that I promise that:

I will no longer allow myself to sleep in

I will have a coffee before my children present me with their routine whining

I will have a shower so that I feel not like a human hairball, but rather a person... better yet, a mom

I will go on my walk so that I have had time to prepare myself for the onslaught of childhood antics I will undeniably face

I will maintain a clean and organized house

I will teach my children to do daily chores even though it is easier to just do it myself

I will have my kids on a regular, daily sleep schedule to which I will adhere faithfully

I will turn off the TV all day except for while I prepare dinner

I will follow my weekly schedule as faithfully as I can

I will ditch the cereal and mac and cheese and feed my kids healthy, nutritious meals and snacks

I will spend less time on the computer and more time with my kids

I will prepare a weekly meal plan and follow it, determining to make a family dinner each night

I will make a conscious effort to be more careful with our money. To not spend as much and budget more.