"I give and take away," the rightful mantra of our God and yet the most terrifying attribute of love, its fragility. This Sunday we dedicated our daughter to the Lord. After going through this experience with Caleb, I thought I was prepared to deal with the implications of this momentous occassion. I know dedication is not for everyone, but it is so important to me as a mother and so it was that I found myself once again walking up the aisle of our small-town church with my precious baby in my arms. Standing before my friends and family, my husband by my side, I solemnly listened as our pastor asked us to entrust Selah to God's capable hands. Here it is, the question that I have long dreaded being asked. My mind is not on the pastor, not on the people watching, hardly even on the words that are being spoken. Instead, I listen as God himself whispers to my very soul, "She is yours only for a season, raise her well, and trust me to know what is best." Can I do it? Can I trust that God is a better parent than I will ever be? We all know the sunday school answer, "God is bigger than all of us". Our sugar coated response spills off our tongues in a nearly irresponsible fashion. But the fact is, words are nothing. My love for my children blinds me with its intensity and the thought of God ever choosing to take them away from me brings me to a near panic. A tear spills down my cheek as I mentally and spiritually release my most precious treasure into the loving arms of my Maker. Knowing that for better or for worse, He will cherish her like I cannot and lead her with a wisdom that I alone do not possess.
Today I dedicated my daughter to God. But I know that I will be making this choice every day for the rest of my life and can only pray that God will give me the strength to put my faith in Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment