Life as a Mountie's Wife

The alarm clock (being my adorable little one year old) sounds off like a siren. Time to get up. I roll over and grunt, hoping that my adoring husband will take the hint and take care of our early-morning riser. Unfortunately, instead of feet rushing to do as I wish, I hear the unmistakable sound of the blanket shuffle as he turns his back to me in defiance of my simple request. Beginning my morning with a grudge of frustration, I sigh as loudly as I can as I throw the blankets aside and rise to fulfill my role as wife and mother. The feminist inside of me screams to be heard and as I listen to her Wiley whispers of injustice, I resent my "role" all the more. Growing up in a feminist world with feminist views and a cultural shift to "fairness" and "equality", I constantly find my perspective shifting towards the world in which I was raised. However, I have been reading a book lately called "Created to be His Help-Meet" by Michael and Debbie Pearle that wars with this ingrained viewpoint. As the wife of an RCMP officer, I find that this theory is tested at every angle, and I cannot say that I am yet at peace with what my role represents.

The reality, I am not like other wives, and my husband is not like other husbands. It is not an easy thing for most people to understand. We talk to other couples and hear how the dads help out with bedtime routine and bath time and feeding, etc. etc. etc. In our house, there is no schedule that Jonathan can be a part of. He works some days, and some nights, he is called out, he is sleeping. There is no method to the madness in our house, and there are days that it drives me nearly crazy!!!!! Don't get me wrong, he helps out when he can, but I feel like that is a rare occurrence when he is constantly "on the clock". And worse than my own frustrations, is the misunderstanding of our families and friends. "What, he doesn't help you do baths??? He doesn't know Caleb's intricate schedule?" etc. etc. etc. No, no he doesn't. He isn't around enough to know how things work in this house. And it is frustrating, yes, but it is our lives and we adjust and work around it. I am a relatively self-sufficient woman. I don't necessarily need Jonathan every waking minute to help me with the day-to-day running of the family and household. Why? How can it be???? Because I have never had him there for me to miss.

I know it won't be like this forever, and I know that there is a definite upside to this career that my husband has chosen. He works so hard for us. And despite the fact that I am left to do a bit more than the "typical family" I get stability in return. Does this stop me from occasionally resenting the load I feel like I carry? No. But it only takes a hot cup of coffee, my sons adoring smile, and a couple hours of reflection to put things back into perspective.