My Sunday Mistake

Today, I tried to have a nap. Why did I do that? With 5 kids you would think I had accepted the fact that those days are behind me. But in my everlasting state of exhaustion, I missed Sunday naps so bad today I couldn't resist the call of sweet sweet slumber. So I fed all the kids, got them watching a show, and poof! dreamland. It was epic, for the whole 10 minutes that it lasted. I was just breaking the surface of complete and total oblivion when "mom" collided with crying collided with "NO" at my door. With a sleeping night shift zombie beside me and a napping baby at the next door, I bounded out of bed a giant leap before my poor addled brain, to deal with the crisis at hand. After settling the drama, I forced myself to close the door to my room with a sense of finality accompanying the click and trudged to the kitchen. Here I sit, popping potty treat jelly beans like an addict to try to propel my lethargy to a general plateau of human existence. I don't even like these things! But its sugar or a giant pot of coffee, and Im sure the caffeine will not be appreciated in about 7 hours. The only thing that keeps resounding in my head is "WHY DID I DO THAT?!?!?!?!" Do I feel any better? NO! I feel worse, so so much worse. Tired beyond repair, frustrated, foggy, and just generally grumpy. The wrong side of the bed… I live over here right now. Who came up with that anyways? "Did you wake up one the wrong side of the bed???" Seriously, what is the RIGHT side? Because I can't seem to find it.  Every side I manage to clamber out of leaves me feeling incomplete, unrested, NOT READY to face the day. Deep breaths.

It's Sunday, the day of rest. Ha! My sour sense of humour mocks me with the reminder that with young children, it's really quite the opposite. Instead of staying in our pyjamas, doing school, relaxing all day. We have to wake up early, get everyone ready to go, pack up the van, show up late to church, try to keep everyone from becoming wild monkeys at the sight of other children to romp around with, just to pack them all back in and drive home. In a state of complete desperation everyone is hungry, tired, grumpy from a full week. No, Sunday is more like crazy day. I have tried to impose quiet time, put everyone downstairs, talk about how they need to stay down there. But when you put 4 kids in the same room, aged 2-7… who am I kidding?

The little angel on my shoulder reminds me that I went to church, listened to a nice sermon, I should be spiritually renewed and ready to face another week. But the OTHER me, the more skeptical, pessimistic side, laughs at the high hopes of a peaceful, encouraging Sunday. And reminds me that one day, in about 5-7 years, I can hope to have a relaxing Sunday come our way. Until then, buckle up my bootstraps, stop eating candy for pete's sake, and get going. Life doesn't stop for nothing around here, my biggest mistake was hoping for it.

From a jaded realist…. I truly hope that your Sunday has been more restful than mine. And if you have young children and your hubby is busy today: for heavens sake…. DON'T TRY TO NAP!!!! ;)

Midnight Mobilization

I went to bed in a state of sheer exhaustion. The effects of a long day with the children was wearing on me and washing the floor on my hands and knees was my undoing. Checking on the kids in one last attempt at 'grown-up responsibility' I finally collapsed on my bed. Allergy medication running through my veins, sending me to a place of distant awareness, I slept.

I was awakened by a squawk from my son in the wee hours of the morning. Let me clarify, that I wasn't just hearing the noise from a groggy distance, no, I was awake. I wasn't sure I understood when parents talked about waking up at your child's every sound. Probably because I was always so sleep deprived with newborns that I was never rested enough to truly wake up. Well, last night, I officially joined the ranks of alert parents everywhere.

I JOLTED awake. It was not a scream, not a sound of need or even a drawn-out cry. Rather a sound of annoyance. And every nerve in my being jumped at the sound. I sat up in bed with a start and wondered where I was and what I was doing. My mind may have been still half-asleep, but my body was not. Adrenaline coursing through my veins I knew I had been woken up for a reason. Once my sleepy thoughts caught up with the rest of me, I determined that it was Malakai and sneaked in to his room to discover the problem. He lay there, wide awake, sucking his fingers. Now, the great debate. He wasn't crying, he can easily make it through the night without eating, so what do I do? I decided to leave him to his own devices, he looked like he would just soothe himself back to sleep.

Crawling back into the warmth of my bed and trying to slow my still beating heart, I attempted to fall asleep once again. No, this is not a story of any great occurrence. Before I fell asleep, it happened to me at least two more times. I would be just starting to doze and he would give another squeak and the adrenaline would jolt me back awake. I swear, it was better than a cup of espresso! 

Needless to say, I am tired this morning. But taking it all as a sign that I am overall rested enough to be very aware of what is normal and what isn't.  And so I sit: looking at the sunshine, drinking my cup of coffee, and held captive by these three little kids I have. Enjoy your Sunday everyone!